Author: Felts4Now

Taking the Time to Feel

Posted on by Felts4Now

It's been sometime since I've updated my blog.  Life has gotten busy, things have changed, and I've lost  track of time.  A year ago, I was nervous and excited, anxious and thrilled, constantly imagining and day dreaming of what it would feel like to be a published author.  With three books published in the last year, two of which won the prestigious Ella's Way Children's Book Award, I thought it was about time to stop, reflect, and feel.

So what's happened in the last year.  I've struggled with the changes in my life, struggled with my children's struggles, and have turned my life upside down. 

My youngest went through a period that parents dread.  The stressful, painful, and agonizing withholding BM's... and all the emotions (for her and I) that go along with it.  There's really nothing like rubbing my child's back while squatting by the toilet, her screeching in pain in our local library's bathroom, helplessly trying to assure her it will be OK and trying to get her to just GO!!!  I lost count of how many times I would question my sanity, question if there ever would be an end to her pain, question if what I was doing was right.  And yet, here we are, past the seemingly unsurmountable achievement of doing number two pain-free, easily, and often. Thank goodness!

My youngest also graduated from a two year old to a three-nager over night.  We both are working on how to navigate new emotions, new independence (but still wanting mommy), and pre-school for the first time.  

My eldest has struggled in the last year, and I've struggled more as a mom than I ever thought I would or could.  I'll be honest here, I didn't think I would make it out alive and whole on the other side of these issues.  I seriously contemplated giving up the SAHM life, giving up trying to be a children's book author, and going back to a typical 8AM to 5PM job.  My eldest has had off-and-on issues with anger, aggression, expressing emotions, and incontinence problems that keep reappearing time and time again.  I tried everything.  I tried all the tips and tricks, read all the books, applied parenting advice from professionals, parenting advice from friends and family, even advice from social media! 

I kept thinking if I could just find a workable solution, if I could just find a set of repeatable steps and stay consistent, I could reach a solution.  And yet, it turned out to be riding a bike and standing up to bullies that resolved (most) of the problems.  My eldest daughter found confidence in herself, started standing up for herself,  and realized she could accomplish really hard things on her own.  I've never been more proud of her.

Also in the last year, our family moved from Chester to Yorktown, VA.  I'm on board with the adventure.  I've never been one to shy away from moving to a new place (military brat!).  The reasons behind our move are logical, appropriate, and important.  We moved to live with my MIL, to help her with the house and health challenges she's facing in the coming months, and to be closer to my husband's family.  I always dreamed of having cousins and grandparents nearby as a kid, so I'm thrilled my girls will experience what I always craved and never had. 

But this move is also bittersweet for me.  I've said goodbye to Richmond and surrounding areas, where I've resided for 14 years.  Goodbye to my dear friends Jessie, Kelsey, Lisa, Jamal, Courtney, Angie, Nikki, Corey, Alan, Julie, Vickie, Shelby, and so many, many more.  Goodbye to the house my children took their first steps in, where I trained for my first marathon, where I completed my century ride from Richmond to Williamsburg and back, where we struggled with infertility for years and I cried myself to sleep month after month, where I learned to love gardening, the city where I found my confidence, my first apartment where I swept and mopped to a record of Florence & the Machine blasting, to the connections I made with authors and librarians and book-lovers in Chesterfield county, to Grant Coffee Company where my first book was launched surrounded by my loved ones, to the parks we visited and the picnics we enjoyed... goodbye to my home.  Goodbye to parts of my soul, my life, and my story.

Saying goodbye also means saying hello to something new.  I'm saying hello to living with and near family.  I'm saying hello to my children (mostly) independently frolicking a neighborhood within a well established children's empire (seven kids in the house to the right, four kids in the house to the left), to a differently paced life, to meaningful time with my husband reliving his past while exploring our future, to stepping out of my comfort zone to excel as an author and small business owner, to forging new friendships, to getting closer to my MIL and learning the history of my children's father's family, to running new paths and cycling new roads.  I'm saying hello to change, and embracing it best I can.

I'm taking time to feel now.  Taking time to reflect.  I built a lot in Richmond and Chester and I'm sad to leave it behind, to start the arduous task of beginning anew in Yorktown.  I enjoy hard work, I enjoy a challenge.  I'm up for it.  For now, though, I'll feel, and allow hope to settle in for the next chapter in my story.

Gratitude and Thankfulness

Posted on by Felts4Now

Gratitude and Thankfulness.  These words and feelings have been felt and said by me at an exponential rate in the last year, especially in the last few weeks.  I started my creative writing journey as a teenager.  I was going to be a writer.  That's what I believed when I was in my early 20's. Then life took different turns and twists.  I was on track be a teacher while taking classes at a community college in Washington state. Then I relocated and started studying business at a university in Florida. I eventually settled on Bioprocess Engineering in North Carolina and received my BS degree.

I loved, lost, grew.  I learned courage and determination.  I worked my way from a technical support representative to Team Lead to Technical Manager to Director of a 40+ person multinational Technical Support department at an engineering software company.  I felt grief that shattered my heart and left a hole of aching despair in my chest.  The greatest lesson I've learned is I can't regret my past, I can't regret the decisions I've made as they have all led me to the life I have now.  And this life is one that I am eternally grateful and thankful to live.  

It was sometime in April 2024 that I turned to my husband and told him, unequivocally, that I was going to be a published children's book author.  I expected a smirk, or a muffled laugh.  Instead, I heard a simple "Ok". In my disbelief, I clarified and reiterated my plan.  He simply said that he believed in me, had seen me accomplish the impossible before, and that if I wanted to be a published children's book author, then that was that.  Fast forward to November in the same year and I'm officially a published children's book author through Inner Peace Press.

Gratitude and Thankfulness.  I'm grateful and thankful to Heather, my publisher, for taking a chance on fate and a chance on me.  I'm grateful and thankful for my husband for innumerable reasons, but especially for believing in and supporting me.  I'm beyond grateful and thankful for my children, who we fought for and struggled to bring into our family.  I'm grateful and thankful for my parents and brothers.  I'm grateful and thankful for my best friend and biggest cheerleader, Jessie.  I'm grateful and thankful for all my friends, family, acquaintances, and supporters.  I'm grateful and thankful for all those who attended my launches, both in person and virtually, to help celebrate this momentous milestone in my life. I'm grateful and thankful that I have the life I do, the people in my life that I have, and the ability to hopefully impact positively children and families who immerse themselves in my book.  Thank you.

Grief and Children: Actions and Discussions Towards a Healing Journey

Posted on by Felts4Now

Grief and loss affect everyone, but it’s important to understand that children may not always express their emotions outwardly or in a way that is easy to identify as caregivers. Understanding and supporting children through their grief is crucial, though it can be challenging to navigate and find the best approaches for the child. 


There are many ways to support a grieving child. It’s important to normalize and validate feelings. Talk about grief using simple language, sharing your own feelings of sadness. 


To help initiate the conversation with your child, here are some questions to ask and discuss:

What do you miss most about your pet?

What is the hardest part of loss?

How does it make you feel?

How did you spend time with your pet?


Children and caregivers can honor the loss of a pet by performing activities together. Activities also provide an opportunity and environment to openly discuss feelings and concerns about death and loss. 


Create a memorial display by decorating a picture frame.  Select a favorite photo of the pet and add stickers or create small drawings to glue onto the frame that represent some of the activities or items the pet loved.  Add their name, paint it, or color the frame using markers or crayons.  During the activity, ask questions and speak openly about grief and loss.  


Be honest and truthful about death and provide clear explanations. Encourage expression using additional creative outlets, like drawing, writing or other activities to help the child express their feelings.  Seek additional resources like support groups, professional counseling, or faith-based support. There are numerous websites, blog articles, and support groups available to help caregivers navigate a child’s journey through grief and loss of a pet.  Below are a few websites to start with:


National Alliance for Children’s Grief: https://nacg.org

Children’s Bereavement Center: https://childbereavement.org/

Winston’s Wish: https://winstonswish.org/

Rainbows Bridge: https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/


There are numerous children’s books that aid in the concept and discussion surrounding the loss of a pet.  My book, Jude’s Best Worst Day Ever, is a story about a young boy, Jude, and his elderly dog, Buddy, as they navigate their last day together.  Determined to make it special, Jude wants to revisit their favorite places and memories, but Buddy struggles to keep up.  It answers the question: Will Jude find a way to create heartfelt memories with Buddy as the sunset, and their final goodbye, approaches?


The bittersweet story provides an accessible and heartfelt way for children to understand and cope with the emotions surrounding the loss of a pet. 


My book serves as a gentle guide for parents and educators to help children navigate their feelings and find comfort in the memories they create with their furry friends. The included Adult Guidebook includes questions to help initiate discussions on grief and loss, information on how children process grief, and activities that children can perform with caregivers to help cope with the loss of an animal while honoring their memory. 


Above all, when navigating the difficult journey of grief and loss, grant yourself grace and patience as you provide love, support, compassion, and validation to a child.  


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Mother, Runner, Children’s Book Author… Oh My!

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I always knew at an early age that I wanted to be a mother.  I had my deepest desire and greatest wish fulfilled almost 4 years ago.  A wish that was fulfilled again just about 2 years ago.  I am so grateful and blessed to be the mom of my two amazing little girls. 


 Being a runner, on the other hand, was something I would have bowled over cackling and ugly laughed at when I was younger if someone had told me I would be a runner one day. I tried to get into running a couple of times in my twenties, but had found it too hard or I thought I was too slow (couldn’t be considered running if I was barely moving!).  And yet, here I am, a runner.  I’ve accomplished my bucket list goal of completing a marathon.  I participate in local 10K and 8K races every year, and plan to get back to regular half marathons once my girls get a bit older. 


Writing is a passion that I joyously and luckily stumbled upon again and again on my life journey.  When I was in grade school, the first books I remember reading without having the willpower to put down was The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe series by C.S.Lewis.  Another book that I remember devouring when I was a little older was The Horsemaster by Marilyn Singer.  As I moved into late teenage years, Out of The Girls’ Room and Into The Night by Thisbe Nissen left a lasting impression on me.  I started writing short stories.  I vividly remember the feeling, the excitement, the ability to use wizardry and magic to paint pictures from my thoughts and mind into other people’s thoughts and minds simply by using words.  It was exhilarating.  I loved it.  


Life moved in a different direction, though, and I stopped writing.  At least, I stopped writing creatively.  I wrote essays, client and colleague emails, blogs on technical software, internal communications, a technical support team handbook, and all manner of various work and school related writings.  Becoming a mother was the catalyst to fall in love with creative writing yet again.  I would tell my daughter stories, helping her get to sleep, passing the time together, helping grow her vocabulary.  A friend recommended that I write the stories down, and so I did.  I lost track of time, absorbed in the challenge, excitement, and pure joy of writing creatively again.  Sharing my drafts with others was a thrill, and I was hooked.  


Running has become a part of my creative journey as well.  Gratefully, I have the ability to zone out when I run and let my mind wander, mulling over concepts and ideas, pulling threads in my mind and seeing what pops up.  Some of my most exciting ideas have simply popped into my rhythmical-breathing-unfocused brain and allow my mind to float.  


When I lay out all the stories together that I want to share with the world, the overall theme is transformation and personal growth through unexpected challenges. Each story features characters who face significant changes—whether it's losing a beloved pet, adjusting to a new family member, discovering a new friendship, overcoming loneliness, or learning responsibility. These experiences lead to a deeper understanding of themselves and others, ultimately guiding them towards empathy, self-improvement, and acceptance.  Looking back at my own life with the challenges I overcame, my inner strength from personal growth, and my hope to have a positive impact on others, I better understand why I have the undeniable desire to write and share these stories with others.  I hope you and your family will have an undeniable desire to read them over and over again.  


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The Journey and Inspiration Behind Jude’s Best Worst Day Ever

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Sitting in my car, I sent my good friend a message, asking her what she thought about a book idea that would be bittersweet… Whimsical, but sad.  I didn’t understand why at the time, but I simply knew I had to write this story.  Jude’s Best Worst Day Ever started with a feeling and an image in my mind. I saw the characters laying in a field, the sun kissing their paws, and that sunny same warmth shining on Buddy’s ashes on a table and on Jude running in the yard outside the window.  The connection of the sun in each scenario and touching the characters was the driving force behind starting this project.  


A few months prior to sitting down at my computer to get the initial revision of Jude’s Best Worst Day Ever, my parents navigated the difficult decision to euthanize their elderly dog.  My best friend was facing the same impending heartbreaking decision for her beloved dog, too.  My husband handled the brunt of the journey with our own pet, Molly, about a year and a half prior.  Molly had sudden congestive heart failure.  It was clear the medications weren’t working.  Her condition declined so rapidly, it was heartbreaking to see her in such disorienting pain.  We had to say goodbye.  Our girls were too young to comprehend what was going on, but the thought nestled into my consciousness that they would eventually have to say goodbye to our other cats one day.  I wanted to write a story that could help with the journey of saying goodbye to their cherished pets. 


When I was in my twenties, I worked at an animal shelter. This shelter had a policy that animals were never euthanized due to lack of space or because they had been in the shelter for a long time. Regardless, we occasionally made the best decision for the animals to euthanize to relieve their pain. I held the paw and stared into the eyes of numerous shelter animals as they were given relief and euthanized. I wanted them to know they weren’t alone and someone loved them in their last moments. I have lost my own family pets as a child and as an adult. The loss, the pain, the grief is a shared experience felt by all who have had to say goodbye to cherished animals. 


I hope my story brings a smile to those reading or hearing it read, but also helps to start the process of healing. Grief and loss affect everyone, but it’s important to understand that children may not always express their emotions outwardly or in a way that is easy to identify as caregivers. Understanding and supporting children through their grief is crucial, though it can be challenging to navigate and find the best approaches for the child. I hope the adult guidebook at the end of Jude’s Best Worst Day Ever will provide caregivers information needed to navigate discussions surrounding loss and grief.  The activities recommended can be used to give space, time, and comfort to children and adults, remembering and honoring their pets.